


Better Life

by kaichocosoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 04:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6454891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaichocosoo/pseuds/kaichocosoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, staying together is not always the best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Life

**Author's Note:**

> Another migrated fic from AFF.  
> And just because Kaisoo and angst these days go especially well. :P

He is peering outside his window again, just as he does everyday. His eyes are trained on the window across his, lined with white curtains on the sides. It is still to early for its occupant to be awake but he times it always like that. For at this time, he could peacefully observe the lump on the bed - tan skinned and crazy bed hair. His shirt is probably thrown off somewhere in the room during the course of the night. He always sleeps with a shirt on and he always wakes up without it.

Now, he knows he is being creepy with all this watching especially if he is doing this without the knowledge of the other but he can't make his presence known. He can't make his feet move and go right up to the other's door and introduce himself. So he satisfies himself with seeing him on his bed, asleep, and then watching him leave his house to work and getting in from wherever he stays after work.

But he can't help it. Kyungsoo is not good with his feelings and expressing them in any form. He's an awkward shell of a person even though he has brains to stay on top of his classes. That's all he has now though, he smiled to himself bitterly.

His alarm went off and before he could see the lump move and stretch as he wakes up, Kyungsoo hides himself away.

 

Chanyeol comes in. He remembers that it is a Wednesday and he sighed in defeat. There was no way he could get away from it. He hold two white plastic bags and Kyungsoo scrunched his nose in annoyance.

"That's too much, you idiot."

Chanyeol dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "You need to eat more, stupid."

"So you want me to get fat?" He grumbled but headed to the dining table to inspect what his bestfriend has gotten him anyway.

"No, Soo. I want you to eat healthy."

Kyungsoo gets it. His bestfriend is just concerned about him. It's evident in his voice and clear through his actions. But he could take care of himself just fine.

"Chan, I can..."

"Don't tell me that you can take care of yourself, Soo. You could hardly move around..."

Chanyeol realized his mistake too late when he was met with fury lined eyes and pursed lips. Instead of aggravating his bestfriend more, he took that as his cue to leave.

 

Kyungsoo stretched his back and cracked his knuckles as he folded his laptop. His wall clock says it's time for dinner so he will prepare dinner. He never bothered to put an effort to cook when it's a weekday but his conversation with Chanyeol that morning has churned thoughts and feelings inside of him.

He will prove that he could live just fine.

He opened the his ref and took out the ingredients to make himself tofu stew. He got a knife from one of the drawers and carefully reached for a pot on the cabinet overhead. He was already panting at the simple tasks he did but he kept going. He is not as helpless as the people around him assume.

He prepared the ingredients and cooked his stew at the same time made rice with enough servings that he could eat until tomorrow and then get some bacon because he craves for it.

His dinner time usually takes just half an hour but with all the cooking, he took up an hour and a half before he could get back to his work. Seeing as it has gotten late, he headed back to his bedroom and settled by his window. He switched off his lights and depended on the moonlight ao he could see his keyboard. It's struggle with the low light but he couldn't risk to be seen as he peered outside his window from time to time.

It was around ten in the evening when he saw a shadow approaching his house and sure enough, he's there but he's limping but the good thing is that he is not alone. Kyungsoo smiled sadly to himself as he caught the ponytail held high by a hair tie and the slender build of his companion. She has one hand wrapped on his waist around his back and his arm is on her shoulders as they headed to the door.

Of course, she will be the one to bring him home whenever he's hurt himself one way or another.

Kyungsoo decided he could finish the next day and called it a night.

 

His morning started with looking out on the window from across his room but he forgot one tiny detail from the previous night. He choked back a sob and covered his mouth with his fist as the lump he was always looking is not just one that morning. He plopped back on his bed and clutched his chest. He took deep breaths and wille his eyes to stop the tears.

This is something that he shouldn't feel and it's not like it's the first time that it had happened. It's rather a common occurrence but each and everytime it hits him like the first time.

The pain is surging from his heart flowing outward, seeping through his veins and numbing everything on its path. It's relentless and Kyungsoo is always helpless against it. He could only wait until it subsides enough to let him move and do whatever he could for the remaining of the day.

 

It was raining and Kyungsoo likes sitting by the window and looking at the patterns that the rain water form on it. He ditched his laptop to sit by his window and get lost on the patterns that he traced with his fingertips. He didn't know how much time has passed but the rain hasn't stopped when he heard knocks on his door.

Frowning, Kyungsoo made his way to the door and carefully twisted the doorknob open. He saw black sneakers first and as he traced the figure on the other side of his door, he gulped when he finally saw that it was him. He's standing in front of Kyungsoo's door, all wet and with a ahy smile on his lips.

Kyungsoo's heart skipped some beats and he simply froze in halfway opening his door. His body is still hidden from view and he should drive him away. He couldn't see him up close. It's just too much.

"I'm sorry but I kind of locked myself out and I'm really cold so can I stay for a while?" he asked in a voice that made Kyungsoo shudder but not because of the cold. The other took this as fear and he was shaking his head and raising his arms in defense.

"I swear I'm not a bad person! We're neighbors and I'm the one living across your house," he pointed behind him. "I'm really sorry to disturb you but I'm not really good with cold and my back..."

That was enough for Kyungsoo to open the door wider and tilted his head to gesture the other to come in. The guy smiled widely and he stepped inside. He walked a little ahead in the hallway but waited for his neighbor to lead him. He heard the door click and he turned to face the other. He saw the reason why he had to look down while talking to the owner of the house.

He's in a wheelchair.

Jongin wasn't expecting that. He knew that there was someone living on the house right in front of his and he is living alone. It didn't cross his mind that he is in a wheelchair because how could he manage to be by himself if he can't move around well?

Kyungsoo noticed he stare that the other was giving him and he blushed in embarrassment and shame. He patted the blanket that is draped on his thighs to cover his lower half better. He could feel the pity that comes from the other guy's face and Kyungsoo hates it that he feels like crying, remembering the reason why he's confined the the contraption.

His neighbor noticed his discomfort and he bowed his head in apology. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to offend you! I... I was the one asking for a favor and yet... fuck. I'm sorry. I didn't even introduce myself yet. I'm Kim Jongin and I work as a trainee in my father's company but I am a dance teacher on the side in the studio near the university."

He looked up to see the fair skinned male wipe away his tears and Jongin felt like the worse douchebag in the world.

"It's okay," then he gripped his wheels and turned his back on his neighbor but looked over his shoulder. "The hall by the kitchen will lead you to the laundry room. You can use the dryer and when you leave, just lock the door. I still have something to do so excuse me," Kyungsoo pushed himself towards his bedroom and shut himself in, letting his tears flow nonstop.

 

Jongin is terribly bothered. It has been three days since he met his neighbor on a wheelchair. It gnawed on his conscience that the other wasn't pleased with him that day and it was all his fault. He should apologize to him and finally, he found the strength to bring him over to knock on the door again.

He was waiting for the footsteps to come but he almost banged his head on the door when he realized how stupid he was being. The door opened a little and when he saw two round eyes widening upon seeing him, he carelessly put his hand on the door to keep it from closing and because of that, he howled in pain when it got jammed between the door and its frame.

Kyungsoo bit the inside of his cheek and debated whether he should check up on Jongin's hand or to just continue closing the door since there was no hand to stop it this time. He did the latter and prayed that Jongin's hand isn't seriously injured.

 

Calling Chanyeol and admitting that his suggestion is the most sensible thing to do at the moment has been in the forefront of Kyungsoo's mind for the past few days. He has been clutching his phone all day and night, considering moving away seriously now. He will be moving with him and Baekhyun who vows to take care of him wholeheartedly but thinking about hearing them have sex from time to time (read: every night) is a big drawback.

But if he stays there, a big possibility of Jongin hanging around more oftend is just as scary. He even laid back on his observing since the day they met face to face. He was more determined to hide when Jongin came knocking on his door and he kind of squished his hand with the door.

The courage that he needed to dial the damn number didn't come to him until Chanyeol has visited him again the next Wednesday. The sound of his door knob clicking open is comforting and Kyungsoo put away his laptop and wheeled to meet his friend and apologize for their not so nice goodbye the last week.

"Chan, I'm so--"

Chanyeol was there, alright but he wasn't alone as Jongin came into view with a sheepish smile and a small wave of his hand. Kyungsoo looked confused and his bestfriend looks just as confused as he is. There was an awkward silence that had Jongin squirming in his place. Chanyeol has already stepped inside with his bag of groceries and stood behind Kyungsoo who is waiting for someone to speak up, not wanting to be rude once more on his neighbor.

It was Jongin who cleared his throat firsr and brushed a hand on his nape.

"Uhm, I'm sorry to intrude but I would just like to apologize for offending you the other day and to thank you for still for being kind enough to let me use your dryer."

Kyungsoo's bestfriend turned defensive. Chanyeol could be intimidsting if he wants to. "Did this guy hurt you, Soo?" He has put the groceries on the floor and with his hands freed, Jongin actually feared for his life.

"Chan," Kyungsoo called his bestfriend and shook his head. "It's okay, Jongin. If that's all, you could leave."

So much for being not rude.

The guy looked dejected but he seemed to get the message as he nodded once and stepped back.

He didn't even give me his name. All I know is he's Soo, Jongin mused as he marched towards his home with a new mission. Apologize to 'Soo' properly and maybe befriend the guy since he has lost all the other ones he had after his accident. There's no harm in trying, right?

 

Kyungsoo didn't know how things turned upside down. When before, he's the one looking at Jongin from across his house, it's Jongin now who knocks on his door and greets him good morning and wishes him a good day before he goes to work. It was Kyungsoo who always waits for him to come home before he sleeps but it's Jongin now who checks the room that he hasn't noticed before that is just right across his own. He saw the man on a chair one night and he tried to grab his attention by shining a flashlight on him.

He was only met with a hurriedly closed curtains after that.

But he didn't lose hope and continued his effort because he feels like it could get lonely if you are living like Soo does. Or he's just persistent like that since he still feels guilty because Soo seemed to have just dismissed him to save him from his giant friend with big ears.

On the other hand, his neighbor ia conflicted on what he should do. He feels flattered from the attention that the other is giving him but he shouldn't give in. He stayed in the confines of his house and doing his job on his laptop for three weeks qnd he vowed to never open the door again. Chanyeol has keys anyway.

But he couldn't keep it up since he could see the sincerity from his neighbors eyes and the feelings that he has been harboring wasn't helping his decision to stay cooped up like before. And with a leap of faith, after the three knocks that morning, he opened up the door to a surprised Jongin who quickly turned into a dopey Jongin as he bent forward to be level with Kyungsoo's face.

He flinched at the closeness but he can't roll backwards, his hands were clasped on his thighs and they refused to move.

"Good morning, Soo neighbor!" he greeted then turned shy once more. Kyungsoo refused to say that he looks adorable out loud. "Uhm, can I just call you that? Uhm, since I didn't get your name?"

Kyungsoo hesitated but the hopeful look he's getting is too strong for his defenses. "My name's Kyungsoo, Jongin-ssi."

"No, no, no. Drop the formality, please," Jongin waved his hand dismissively in the air. "Just Jongin or... Am... Can I know how old are you?"

Kyungsoo chuckled at the awkwardness that he exudes. Some things just don't change. "I'm older than you, Jongin."

"Really? I would've to contest that. I'm already twenty-four."

"And I am twenty-five. I'm older, Jongin."

"But you look young!" the tanned male argued.

"Staying inside for long does that to you," Kyungsoo replies thoughtlessly but didn't take it back as he saw the younger's expression drop.

"Did I offend you again? I'm so sorry," he apologized with his head hung.

Touched, Kyungsoo smiled softly. "It's okay. There's nothing to apologize for anyway. I'm used to it."

Just then, Jongin seemed to have remembered he has a job to go to and he bade goodbye to Kyungsoo after saying that he will be back tonight and they could continue their talk. Without waiting for approval, he turned on his heels and waved.

"Kyungsoo," he muttered under his breath as the house disappeared from behind him. "It's a nice name."

 

And Kyungsoo wasn't able to stop the younger from coming over every night, just to talk at first but when he arrived one time and Kyungsoo felt like cooking, Jongin has requested the elder to cook for him every night because he needs proper food for his growing body and his weak heart. Before Kyungsoo could say no, he pulled out the aren't-we-friends card and Kyungsoo had no choice but to give in to the other's request.

Jongin mostly drops by seven in the evening but there are nights that he comes early because he wants to help Kyungsoo cook, not that the elder needs it. His kitchen has been modified for him to be able to get things within his reach and he had an induction cooker installed so he won't need to change gas tanks every now and then.

They will talk for hours until Jongin yawns tiredly, usually around half past ten. They will talk about everything from what they had been doing during the day, interest, hobbies, childhood stories and some other memories that Kyungsoo doesn't want to be reminded of, as much as possible.

But then it will eventually come to that since they have been doing this for two months already. Chanyeol knows about this and Kyungsoo begged him to keep it from Baekhyun because the latter will make a big deal out of it and Kyungsoo doesn't want this to end just yet. He likes that he's able to talk to him finally and Jogin has always been a good listener but he is also very curious and talkative when he's comfortable.

He told Kyungsoo that he had an accident five years ago and that caused him to lose his memories and fuck his brain up that's why he randomly loses control over his motor skills on top of having a weak heart since birth. Quite ironic for a part-time dance teacher but he says thay it's a good therapy for him, as advised by his doctor.

But it looks like he wants information too in return.

"Soo..." he's gotten around calling the other by that nickname and Kyungsoo doesn't know whether he will jump in glee or grimace. He does that latter internally because he can't exactly jump. "... have you always been in a chair?"

It wasn't the first time that he has asked this because he had asked several times already when he could. Kyungsoo always avoids it in fear that he will break down in front of the younger but why would he prolong the agony even more? Just tell him the story and he will leave it alone, most likely.

"No, Jongin. I was in an accident like you had and that made me lose the use of my legs," he replied in a clipped tone.

"Was it a car accident too?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Some years ago. I don't exactly keep track of it," his tone turned brash and the younger got the message and kept quiet.

 

They were eating dinner when Jongin's phone rang. It was pretty rare because as Jongin have said, he didn't have friends since he can't remember any of them and it's not lile he was friendly before, according to his mom. His work wasn't as demanding to be calling him at night after his shift but Kyungsoo shrugged it off and continued his meal.

Jongin excused himself and he's back with a smile on his lips. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes because Jongin has this tendency to smile even at the littlest things.

But when his doorbell rang, Kyungsoo froze. No one visits him this late because whoever comes to see him by this hour would have their own key to his place, lile Chanyeol or Baekhyun or his parents. He didn't notice Jongin heading to the door and opening it himself.

"Hey, Soo. I hope you don't mind me letting my girlfriend in. I was boasting to her how good you cook so I wanted her to try it herself," Jongin rambled as he led the girl that Kyungsoo has been seeing with him into his house. He wanted to disappear into the depths of the earth but there's no helping it because she saw him already.

"Do Kyungsoo," she breathed in disbelief.

"Jung Soojung."

 

Jongin was told by Soojung to wait for her outside as she asks Kyungsoo about his recipe of the kimchi spaghetti he loves so much. He argued that he knows it himself but he was still kicked out. What was that about? And why did it seem like she knows Kyungsoo? She even knows his last name that his friend hasn't even told him.

If Soojung knows him, it could be possible that he knows something about him but didn't mention it, probably considered his condition and didn't want him to be overwhelmed with memories of his past. He smiled at all the possibilities the elder could offer him. As he worked on possible questions that he could ask the elder, Soojung is out of the door with a solemn expression.

"So?" he prompted as he reached for her hand that she gripped a little too tight. Then she smiled at him and leaned to kiss his cheek.

"We'll try it later."

 

Jongin's questions were put on hold because since that night, Soojung has insisted that they work on the recipe until they could perfect it but when Jongin complained that he's getting a little too much pasta inside his system, she proposed another recipe and they have a new one to do every night. Before Jongin knew it, his girlfriend has already moved in with him and it's not like he's complaining.

Soojung has always been with him ever since he still was in the hospital and recuperating. His parents have always been supportve of their relationship even before the accident, they said. She's always been a wonderful girl and she has always been there for Jongin, making him happy and content.

Knowing her for a long time makes him see things and know when there is something wrong. She might be smiling all the time but she seems to be on the edge lately. He could see that she's keeping something from him even though this is the first time that she has done it to him. He tried to confront her about it but she would just kiss him to distract him so he just lets it rest.

Until Jongin has seen her secretly looking into something that she chucked inside her bag. Dubious, he approached her and put a hand on her shoulder tha made her squeak and jump in suprise.

"Goodness, Jongin. You scared me!"

He cocked an eyebrow at her for overreacting. He didn't even touch her abruptly. "What was that you had in your bag?" if you stutter I am going to pester you about it, Soojung-ah.

"Th-that was nothing!"

Bingo.

"Are you sure?" He was determined to not let it rest because it has been nagging him for quite some time already. It almost feels like Soojung is keeping something from him that has something to do with Kyungsoo.

Was this about what they have talked about that night? He doesn't really believe that they talked about recipe because Jongin walked him through whenever they tried to cook the damned pasta that they couldn't even get near the taste that Kyungsoo's has.

Soojung fidgeted under his firm gaze and her grip on her bag shifts from loose to tight and he kept his eyes on her and he could feel her giving in. She sighed in defeat not too long after and her hand dove inside her bag and got a green box with penguin and bear prints on it. Its cute, Jongin notes and seeing it gave him familiar tugs on his heartstrings.

It looks and feels important to him. Why didn't he see that before? Why is Soojung trying to hide it from him?

He slowly took the box from the hesitant hands of his girlfriend. He can't help but tremble as he took off the lid and he almost dropped the box s he saw the firstnthing that was inside.

It was a polaroid photo that looks like it's a few years old and he felt a surge of confused feelings. There is uncertainty, curiosity, betrayal and hurt all jumbled into one messy lump of emotions inside his chest. He could feel his heart starting to cramp but he can't have that now. He can't be weak when he's a step closer to his lost memories that Soojung and his parents didn't bother filling in for him saying that there's not much to say since he is a reserved person.

"Jongin..."

"Care to tell me what the hell is this picture, Soojung?"

She shook her head. "Jongin you need to calm down, this is not good for your heart..."

He shook his head back in defiance. "No. What's not good for me is all these things that you've been hiding from me. Is this why you know Kyungsoo, Soojung? Tell me, what is the meaning of this?" He swung the picture back and forth and caught a glimpse of others that are stacked in a small pile inside the box.

Soojung diverted her eyes and started to sob into her hands. Jongin waited for her but she slumped on the ground, still crying. At that moment, he just needed answers and it seems like he won't be getting any from her.

Then there is no other choice but cross the street and knock on Kyungsoo's door.

 

Chanyeol had to go to the supermarket because he has ran out of tape. His packing is almost complete though it hadn't taken them more than a day. It's not like Kyungsoo moved too many of his things. He took in every corner and nook of this apartment that he has stayed for five years as some kind of watch tower over Jongin.

He moved around and saw the little keepsakes box and held on it. The blue box is what he had been keeping from five years ago. Containing the memories that he could only cherish by himself because the one he shared them with no longer knew of them.

He let a lone tear escape as he put the the box on his blanketed lap and opened his laptop where more of his memories were documented and saved. He didn't know what made him open up the folder that has been sitting on his desktop untouched for a long time.

Double clicking on it, he was shown thumbnail after thumbnail of their pictures from around seven to eight years ago. Starring in each and every picture is the bright smile that has been the center of his happiness. The glowing bronze skin that has always been the canvas where Kyungsoo could freely paint expression after expression.

Kim Jongin, an art on his own, is Do Kyungsoo's most precious masterpiece.

Yet, he's not for him to own.

Kyungsoo has always wanted to see more of the stoic kid a year younger than him. He has observed him sitting on his own every lunch and in his free time. He has grown attached to watching him from afar but he breached that when he saw some spark from those blank eyes brought by dancing.

He encouraged him to do what he wants which Jongin's parents were against to since he has a weak heart. It was hard to accomplish that at first since Jongin has been molded to follow each and every word of his mother and father. They protected him from too much in fear of anything that could trigger the downfall of his heart.

Kyungsoo searched if Jongin could dance; he didn't want to kill him in the process of letting the younger explore his potential. After having an opinion of a doctor, moderate dancing activity that doesn't exceed more than an hour every other day would even be beneficial to strengthen his heart a bit.

And so when Jongin tried it, he never got out. He embraced his passion and the person that has brought him to where he was. He had fallen into a new pattern where he doesn't just do what he needs to do but what he loves to do as well. He also had fallen too hard for the person who strived to see right through him, beyond the mask that he has worn.

Jongin found the two loves of his life in one go.

Kyungsoo has found the most beautiful art piece in the whole world and he got to admire it all to himself.

He took picture after picture of every façade of his subject and fell in love with every one of it.

Kyungsoo offered half his heart to Jongin to compensate for his weak one and Jongin took it without hesitation with the promise to take care of it with his all.

They basked in each other's love and grew together. The Kim Jongin that has been the quiet rich kid became the school's dance king while Do Kyungsoo, premiere student became the most sought after photographer that has been known by his captured passion of the person whose expression had been dancing.

Kyungsoo was wiping his tears with a smile on his lips when he heard banging on his door that gave away when the knob was twisted. Damn Chanyeol and his laziness. If it was a robber, he would just offer him everything but he would probably fight for his laptop but then when the person whose footsteps were hurried appeared in his peripheral view, Kyungsoo wished it was a robber instead.

Because Jongin looks like he saw a ghost as he held the box on his chest, hugging it close to his body. His eyes were puffy and red around the edges. How did he get hold of the box? He thought Soojung has disposed of it?

"Do Kyungsoo," he panted and his breathing was labored. Worried, Kyungsoo rolled his chair towards him but he paused a few feet away when the other looked at him sharply. "Who are you?"

Said guy looked away and blinked away the tears. "I was the one who took away your memories, Jongin-ah."

 

_"Jongin, let's just end this," Kyungsoo kept his face away from his boyfriend's view. He won't be able to do this while looking into his intense gaze that has always melted him. He fisted his hands on both of his thighs to keep himself from crying. He needs to play his part. Or else._

_"I don't know what my parents told you but I don't care, Soo! I don't care if they disown me and throw me out of the house. I will not leave you," Jongin gripped the wheel until his knuckles turned white. "I knew it was a bad idea to let you talk to them. Let me handle them, love."_

_"No, Jongin, please. Please listen to me," he pleaded but kept his eyes away. He gathered his courage and arranged his thoughts inside his head. "Your parents just want what's best for you. Soojung is a good girl. She's beautiful, she's rich, she's smart and you parents like her. What's so bad in marrying her?"_

_"Fuck! Because she is not you, Kyungsoo! Can you hear yourself? You're selling me to someone for what? What are you getting in all of this?"_

_The car stopped at the red light and instinctively, Kyungsoo turned towards this greek statue came to life and he was met with crying eyes. "Tell me, Soo, don't you love me anymore? Are you tired of looking out for me? I will be more independent, if that's what you want. I will take my medicines on time; I'll make an alarm for them so I won't forget. I will not strain myself too much so I will not worry you. What more do you want me to do? Don't do this to me, love, pleae."_

_They started moving again when Kyungsoo replied. "I'm not the best choice for you, Jongin."_

_"I don't need what's best for me, Soo! You're perfect for me. What more could I ask for?"_

_"Jongin, listen to me..."_

_"You listen to me, Do Kyungsoo," Jongin cut him off. "I will not break up with you just because of my parents. I will not break up with you just because you think I have a brighter future if you're not with me. I will not break up with you unless you tell me that you don't love me anymore. Tell that to me eye to eye and I will leave you alone. I will do what you want."_

_"Okay, fine!" Kyungsoo is desperate. He needed to do this or Jongin's parents will not even let him see him after this. They will ship him somewhere he won't know and that is something that he won't be able to live with. "Pull over, Jongin."_

_Jongin wordlessly obeyed but his eyes are hard as diamonds. Kyungsoo held his face with bith of his hands and forced Jongin to look at him, eye to eye. "I don't love you anymore, Jongin. Let's break up."_

_"That's fucking bullshit. You don't mean that, Do Kyungsoo. Try harder."_

_He should've expected this. He wouldn't have taken time to take Jongin out of his shell if he is pliant. Kim Jongin is as stubborn as hell. So Kyungsoo used his last card._

_"If you don't do as you parents say, Jongin, they will take you away from me. They will not let me see you anymore. They will deprive me of you. I can't live living like that, Jonginnie. I'd rather watch and shoot you from a distance rather than have nothing. I want you in my life still, one way or another. We're sharing my heart, remember? How will I live if you take your half away with you?"_

_"Then we'll run away from this, Soo. Let's get away," Jongin's voice rang with finality and he stepped on the gas and they shot through the night. "I will not let that happen. I'll die."_

_Then it all happened too fast. The next thing that Kyungsoo knew, they were blinded by a light and a sound of blaring horn reached his ears. The light was coming on Kyungsoo's side and Jongin tried to maneuver away from impact but it was too late. Kyungsoo saw everything spin but his hand found Jongin's and held on tight. They shared one last glance before they both lost consciousness and succumbed into darkness._

__

 

"They said that your car turned five times before landing on its roof. Your seatbelt held you secure on your seat but your airbag wasn't able to cushion your head, giving you a serious concussion, leading you to your amnesia," Kyungsoo caught his breath. "If I hadn't distracted you..."

"And you think that it is best to hide this from me? You think that it is better that I'm kept in the dark like this? You think that I am better off knowing nothing about you? Was it fun, huh, Kyungsoo? Was it fun to see me looking so clueless around you and excited to see you everytime before I got to work and before I come home? Was it fun to see me with Soojung now?" he spat the last part and Kyungsoo was weighed down by his shoulders.

"You got what you want, right? Are you happy now? I am actually planning to marry her next year already," Jongin dropped the box he was holding and its contents spilled out. He saw some which has him and Kyungsoo posing cutely. Something in his heart ached at these display and something inside his head seared in pain. He saw some pictures inside his head and the next second, he was flooded. It was too much. Too much all at once.

He can't see Kyungsoo at the moment and his feet has led him out of the house with wobbly knees and even though Kyungsoo's sight is blurred with tears, he called him back while following his steps with every push of his chair.

Jongin refused to be called back. It hurts. His brain hurts. His heart hurts. His feet hurts. But everything overwhelmed him as he stepped foot in his property and his legs gave out.

Kyungsoo saw everything and the only thought that ran inside his mind is that he needs to get to him. Raise him up on his knees. Kyungsoo can't let an ethereal masterpiece waste away just like Jongin so he pushed his arms to give more force to propel him forwards.

Only, he forgot that there is a gutter he will be rolling over and he exerted too much power that he toppled over and fell, just like how Jongin did. He yelled. He shouted for Soojung, for Chanyeol, for any help because Jongin might be having a heart attack with the way he's clutching at hus chest but they were all too slow.

If he can't rely on others, he needs to do it himself.

He pushed himself up and dragged himself to crawl to where Jongin has fallen. He ignored the burn in his arms and the scraped on his palms. What matters is Jongin and for him to be safe, to be happy, to live.

"Jongin! Jongin! Jongin, don't you dare close your eyes! You have to live! You can't die on me! Jongin!"

Kyungsoo never thought the two lane road is that far as he moved to get closer to Jongin. Jongin turned to look at him, his eyes fluttering to a close but it wasn't enough to not see how their eyes lost contact when Kyungsoo flew a few meters down the road when a car speeding down the street had hit him.

Jongin willed his head to move and clear his eyes so he could see where Kyungsoo landed. His voice was trapped his throat and his lungs felt constricted. As their eyes connected for the last time, Kyungsoo's pair were smiling as he mouthed,

_My heart's always been yours, Jongin._

 

 

Jongin woke up feeling sore all over. Checking for anything missing, he found nothing. Even the gaps in his memories were filled. He got his memories back but at what price? He smiled bitterly as tears filled his eyes once more. He'd rather have his memories taken now as Kyungsoo's face was etched inside his eyelids, haunting him everytime he closes his eyes.

His heart started to ache once more and maybe this time, it will fail him for real. Seeing that he's still alive, the little organ beating inside his chest is stronger than he thought of. Maybe it wasn't faulty as they thought it was. Doctors are bound to make mistakes right?

The door to his room opened and when he turned to check who his visitor is, his expectation wasn't met. Soojung is there with a relieved smile and he expected to feel the racing of his heart and the happiness that bubbles inside his chest whenever she's around. They were there but not as strong as he was used to.

Was it because his head could recall the way his body reacts even just at the thought of Kyungsoo?

Speaking of him...

"Where's Kyungsoo?"

"You just woke up and you're looking for Kyungsoo already?" she smiled a little but it's laced with bitterness. "I've never had to deal with this for five years and why now?"

"Soojung, I'm sorry..."

"If you're looking for Kyungsoo, look there," Soojung cryptically pointed on Jongin's chest before she left the room without any other word. Wearing a hospital gown isn't exactly thhe most comfortable and it's not easy to remove. Jongin still doesn't feel in tiptop shape but he could move his arms just fine so he pried on the ties on his back and the two that he was able to remove was enough to expose his chest.

There wasn't really anything to see except for a long healing inscision along his sternum.

Kyungsoo's last words rang inside his head silently as his tears flowed relentlessly from his eyes.

_My heart's always been yours, Jongin._


End file.
